Au revoir

I can’t deny it any longer; I'm just not able to keep up with this blog. I’ve loved it so much, but self reflection is just not a luxury I have time for anymore. Between work, school, remodeling our house, a time-intensive bible study, and the occasional amazing book, I can’t seem to find the minutes to create coherent thoughts. Instead they remain scattered throughout the day until I completely forget them all together.

But because I really do love blogging so much, I’m not going to shut this whole thing down. I’ll leave it up as a reminder of something I hope to get back to one day. And from time to time your RSS reader might just surprise you with an update from me.

Happy lives to you all!

Sam and I just got back from an amazing trip to Colorado. We got to spend lots of time with family and friends, enjoying the beautiful weather and scenery. It was really hard to go home when home still feels like Colorado, but here we are back in Cleveland.

Highlights:

Getting stuck in Chicago for two days and making the best of it by seeing my sister

Mini vacation to Glenwood Springs

The scenery

The cousins

Favorite things not pictured: Seeing best friends, friends from work, bible study friends, and Sam's amazing family; meeting sister and brother-in-law's new dog; eating out roughly every other meal.

Back on the face of the earth

I have been on a mission. A mission to purchase a house. After 70 grueling days, my mission is drawing to a close.

When I started out I couldn't have imagined how consuming this task would become. Who knew taking ownership of a house could still be so complicated in this modern era. Then again, maybe it's this modern era that has made it so complicated.

Anyway, we close on Friday and then my life shall recommence.

Just a quick post

Here's a picture of the lovely

little fixer-upper we're trying to buy...

And here's my mom's new hair growth...

Have a nice day.

Back on tract

Great news - my mom's back home again. After several days of just hanging out in the hospital, her digestive tract decided to allow food to move through the shoot again. Though no one is certain about what exactly happened, it seems like the best guess is that her guts started adhering to other organs. We're not sure if this will happen again. Or whether other odd goings on are going on. But for now she'll stick with her baby-food like diet and Monday she'll be back at work again.

Who can say why these things happen. All I know for sure is that this Saturday evening all is well. We can't know what's in store. And for the first time in my tend-to-overplan life, I don't want to.

Wait and see

My mom is still biding time at the hospital. No one is exactly sure why her body is behaving the way it is. So the plan for now is to just wait and see. The doctors hope that with time her intestines will just turn back on. I hope those intestines are aware of what is expected of them. I hope they got the memo. And I hope they're team players.

Is this thing still on?

Well hello again. It's been a while, no? Life has been rather busy these days. I'm still working a lot, we've been enjoying the beautiful onset of summer, and we're trying to buy a house. I have lots of pictures to post but no time to do it at the moment.

Instead, I'm writing to introduce what feels like Part 2 of my mom's epic adventure. Since we last spoke, my mom has lost most of her fingernails as a result of the chemo treatments that ended quite a while ago. And yesterday, after suffering from rather severe abdominal pains, she was admitted to the hospital because of blockage in her intestine that was effectively shutting off her GI tract. At this point the doctors seem to think this may be a side effect of her surgery ... from seven months ago. I don't understand this at all yet, but I'll do some investigating and report back soon. Let's just hope those dark clouds forming on the horizon aren't the ominous type.

Cavs 105, Hawks 85

Last night we caught a raucous playoff game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Atlanta Hawks. I was a little nervous about the game not starting until 8:00 because I am notorious for not being able to stay up very late, but the game was exciting enough and the crowd wild enough that I didn’t pass out until we got on the train to go home.

The night’s highlights:
- Giant indoor flame throwing
- Usher dancing on the sidelines to “Never Gonna Give You Up”
- Free t-shirts
- No-look passing, reverse dunking, and alley-ooping
- A 40-foot buzzer beating shot
- Dippin' Dots ice cream

Basketball doesn’t get much better than this.

A Wright weekend

A few years ago Sam and I decided to get caught up on some of the cinematic greats from before our time. We watched movies like Twelve Angry Men and Breakfast at Tiffany’s and Apocalypse Now. While some appealed to us a lot more than others, we generally found that most of them were hard to appreciate. Even highly acclaimed films like One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest just left us more stunned than anything. We grew up with such a different cinematic experience that it was very hard to grasp what had been so revolutionary about these classics.

So when we went to see some of Frank Lloyd Wright’s architectural landmarks this weekend, I had was a little nervous that I would walk away feeling similarly disappointed by what has been hyped for decades. It was easy to imagine that what had been great in its time would no longer feel relevant, but fortunately I found this not to be the case at all.

First we went to see Kentuck Knob, a smaller residence built in the lush hills of Pennsylvania. It’s difficult to capture on camera because it’s got so much going on in so many places (plus we weren’t allowed to take pictures inside), but it was a beautiful and clever little house.

Wright was never formally trained in architecture which seems to have had two effects; first, he almost always underestimated how much steel was required to prevent nature from reclaiming his structures, and second, his ignorance of such facts allowed him to create uninhibitedly. Both of these effects are seen in the second house we visited, Fallingwater.

This house was such an amazing experience. One of the most stunning, yet destructive, features of this house is its relationship to the river. Millions of dollars have been spent to restore and reinforce what the water continues to break down.

There were so many interesting features like the low ceilings that fit the slightly shorter humans of the 1930's, the built-in furniture, and the rocks that moved from the outside of the house to the inside.

So fortunately this weekend turned out nothing like our movie experience. While the appeal of older films might be totally lost on us, I'm glad to say we thoroughly enjoyed our sampling of classic architecture.

Weekend recap

Like most humans, I’m so glad the weather is getting nicer. It really has been quite a while since I’ve seen the sun or really been inspired to be outdoors for any reason. But this weekend we got our money’s worth. First we visited some nice towns with pretty beaches and boats and blossoming trees along Lake Erie.

My sister came to visit and we went for a few long walks (and some short jogs) in the park. Then, along with many of our family members who live on the same street, we thatched FOUR yards. It was dirty hard work and it felt good.

We read on the back porch and tried to revive some dying plants and finally wrapped up the weekend, and Sam’s birthday festivities, with some bowling. And to think that this is just the beginning of summer!

Yay Summer

Here's a pretty tree in a pretty little town on a pretty stretch of Lake Erie.

Happy Birthday, Sam!

If you'd never been born, well then what would you be?

You might be a fish! Or a toad in a tree!
You might be a doorknob! Or three baked potatoes!

You might be a bag full of hard green tomatoes.

Or worse than all that...Why, you might be a WASN'T!

A Wasn't has no fun at all. No, he doesn't.

A Wasn't just isn't. He just isn't present.

But you...You ARE YOU! And, now isn't that pleasant!

-- Dr. Seuss, from Happy Birthday to You!

Circle of Life

I had anticipated chronicling the long and fruitful life of our first attempts at growing vegetables. Unfortunately our little plants skipped straight to the dying phase of life.

Things started out smoothly enough. We watered our little soil pellets to ready them for seeds from tomatoes, peppers, cucumbers, cilantro, and broccoli:

Then we gently embedded the plants to the specified depth:

Several days later we began to see hearty sprouts:

And then robust mini plants:

But then, freakishly, just a few days later the heads of the plants started falling off and plants were dying left and right:

Now all we have left is a tray of mostly dead seedlings. We're still watering them and giving them as much sunlight as possible in hopes of a miraculous revival. Obviously we have much to learn.

Looking back

I’m still working lots of extra hours as you can probably tell by my few and far between posts. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have information to share.

My mom is officially finished with her five-month round of chemo treatments. Her latest blood tests show that the cancer is losing the battle. So what does that make her now? Cancer free? In remission? The Terminator?

Not quite. According to the medical world, she is still thought to have cancer. Even if she gets good marks on all of her tests a few months from now, it may only mean that the cancer cells are at rest. But labels are tricky; often times they avert our eyes from the true essence of a thing, giving us a wholly wrong impression of it.

So what might be a more fitting description of her now? Personally, every time I talk to my mom or hug her or even argue with her (which never happens, I swear) I just see Mom. And that feels so good. I know that she’s not losing herself in this battle. She’s still my mom. And my dad’s wife. And bighearted and funny and a lot of other things that cancer can’t take away.

The book isn’t closed on this journey yet, but I’d say this chapter was pretty encouraging.

April showers bring May flowers

Up until this weekend, my mom has pretty much breezed through chemo. But a body can only gracefully tolerate poison for so long. This weekend the breeze died down, and well, she collapsed with a thud into the proverbial wall. She is achy and nauseous and in jeopardy of losing her finger nails. Plus she continues to suffer hot flashes and exhaustion.

The silver lining lies in the fact that she is very nearly done with chemo. This Thursday is her last scheduled treatment. As winter fades, her storm also should be quieting. And in its wake we hope to see sprouts on her head, strength in her body, and renewed hope in her life.

Not so much to report

Just checking in to say all is well here. For those keeping tabs on my mom, she is doing great. Still hairless. Still tired. Still fuzzy brained. Still achy on occasion. And still fighting.

All in all life it cruising along swimmingly. Hope the same can be said for you.

Those lucky dogs

One morning in January I tried starting our car but nothing happened. Just silence. I turned the key a few more times, but couldn’t get it going. Oddly, when Sam came out to diagnose the problem, the car started right up. We took the car in to have the battery checked and sure enough, it was about dead. So we bought a new battery and life was back to normal.

About a week later it happened again. I turned the key several times, but the car just sat lifeless. I went back in the house for a few minutes and then tried the whole thing over. Just like the week before, the car started up with no problem. Now I was confused. It couldn’t be the battery this time, could it? Maybe it had something to do with the sub-human (and sub-mechanical) winter temperatures. Was the car nearing the end of its long life?

It’s been a few months now and I still don’t have any answers because our car has been running fine ever since. I am, however, beginning to see the faint outlines of another theme taking shape in my life. I’m calling this one Appreciation.

We all know we take too much in our lives for granted. We forget how precious certain things are. Or we assume we will always have them available to us. Fortunately life has a way of reminding us how to appreciate what we have while it’s still ours to appreciate. Like the car. For the past few months, every time I turn the key in the ignition, I thank God when it starts up. Nope, no more taking the car for granted.

This theme has come up in a lot of other ways since (thus dubbing it a theme), but there’s just one more example I want to share for now.

I started reading a book called Unpolished Gem by Alice Pung. It’s a true story about a family that emigrated from Cambodia to Australia just after the Vietnam War. The family was destitute and desperate. They had been living under an oppressive regime and their spirits were nearly broken. Upon arriving in Australia, they experience a life they never could have fathomed. They behold a government that protects its citizens. They watch cars yield to pedestrians. And they discover food is cheap and abundant. Their first trip to the grocery store is a thing of wonder. They buy a few simple items including some canned meat and the daughter writes:

Back in our rented weatherboard house…my mother cuts the [meat] into little pieces and makes a nice stir-fry. "It smells so good," breathes my auntie as she spoons the meal onto a large plate. My mother cannot help but smile with pride. It is only later when my family sees the television commercial that they realize who - or more accurately, what - the meat is for. "Wah, who could believe that they feed this good meat to dogs? How lucky to be a dog in this country!"

So the goal is to try to remember to appreciate the goodness of life – people, health, circumstances, and an unpredictable car – while it's still ours to enjoy.

March Maple Madness

This weekend we drove to an old, old little town to celebrate the maple syrup season by indulging in all-you-can-eat pancakes, topped with the town's finest.

All across the Midwest, trees are thawing and sap is flowing. The sap is collected by the bucketful and boiled down until all that remains is a sweet, concentrated, amber syrup.

I learned that it takes about 50 gallons of sap to produce 1 gallon of pure maple syrup. I guess that's why it goes for around $60/gal. Fortunately, I think we got our fill for a while. And now I'm officially ready for spring!

This story has a point: Part 3

And it has an end. This is taking far longer than I anticipated.

ANYWAY, to wrap things up, I’ll summarize by saying that a few months after the failed career attempts, I ended up becoming employed by the library. I didn’t know what to expect, but I certainly wasn’t anticipating falling in love with it the way I did. And I discovered a lot of things about myself. For example, while memorizing lots of biological minutiae is not a strength of mine, it turns out working with people is. And though I probably would have made a lousy teacher, it turns out I make a pretty good librarian.

Looking back at college, I can see that there were things I was really good at, but because they weren’t the things I wanted to be good at, I overlooked them. And when I was trying to find work, I didn’t take into consideration what excited me. But once I recognized and decided to appreciate my strengths and not to sweat my weaknesses, I found my stride.

So finally, The Point: It’s been four years since I graduated from college and resolved that I would never return. But after a few course corrections, I’ve decided to try again. I’ve applied for and been accepted into a master’s of library science program and I’ll start in the fall. I think things will go much smoother this time around.

Seems like an awful lot of writing when I could have just said, “I’m going back to school,” huh? So why don’t I throw in A Moral, too? Here it is: Sometimes it’s only after we’ve strayed quite far from the path that we can recognize when we’ve finally found it again.

And just for good measure, I offer A Tip: From time to time, a little introspection does a body good.

The End.

This story has a point: Part 2

Right after college I applied for a teacher licensing program and a college ministry position at the same time. Just like when I was choosing my major, I didn't stop to think whether either of these careers were really a good fit for me. I was just eager to be doing something.

After a few months of phone calls and research and testing and interviewing, I found out that neither job would be an option. To get licensed I needed to go back to school and I just couldn't stomach that at the time. To join the ministry, I needed to attend a mandatory week long training that was scheduled for the same time Sam and I were planning to go to Mexico to get married.

I really didn't take this well. Not at all. I felt like a failure.

It turns out I had a lot of ideas of what I wanted to be that basically fell outside of the realm of who I already was. I resisted what came naturally and fought to be something else entirely...